Over load and a new car!

This week was overloaded with crazy things. The family that we had on
date dropped us on Friday. It was a pretty heart wrenching experience.
It's interesting how fast they make a decision about this stuff. We
just finished teaching them all of the lessons too. Hopefully one day
they will join.

The other family we are teaching is doing awesome! 12 days without
smoking, and moving forward with the goal of getting married.
Hopefully soon!

We got a new car this week! It's a 2014 Chevy Cruze! I'm not
complaining about that at all! Our old car was going to die
eventually. We did a lot of service and exchanges this week, not too
much teaching. It all just went by way too fast.

I've really hit the Book of Mormon hard this week! I honestly don't
think the Book of Mormon gets enough credit. There are so many things
that have helped me this week just from reading it. I never knew how
much of an impact it was. The lord knows us, he knows our feelings, he
does all things for our benefit and good, I think we are the ones that
miss the mark.


This weeks letter is kinda dull because not much has happened this
week (other than being pulled around the state). But I do know this.
That God lives, that our savior performed the Atonement for each of us
to not only be cleansed, but to be changed. We have been given a path,
and tools (his doctrine) to endure this life, and if we are ever
submissive the Atonement will change our very Natures. President Vest
wrote to me this week and said "Elder Greenburg, the Lord needs you,
and I need you to bless the lives of these missionaries. You are
everything that I and the Lord need to help those struggling. Please
prepare yourself". It was an extremely humbling moment for me. I came
to the realization that I not only need the Lord. But that he needs me
to be his instrument to bring salvation to the lives of those
struggling. He needs me. I can answer that call.

I testify that our Heavenly Father knows our full potential. He sees
what we can be, he sees us at our highest of highs. He is pulling for
us, and he loves us infinitely.

2nd pday in a row that I've had to work on a farm.

Service. I've been throwing hay, and I got peed on by a stupid cow!

Bllluuuuuuurrrrrrrr

This week was a blur. I went on a back to back exchange, probably drove 400 miles in 2 days. That's a lot considering we're only allowed 1,500 miles a month and we have 4 more exchanges to go. 

We had a solid week though. Our investigators are still set and on track for the 1st!

This week @district meeting I gave a training on "abiding in him" and how it is conducive to recognizing the spirit. It outlines how the Atonement can help us abide in the savior. To my surprise the Assistants to the President walked in and joined us for the meeting. That was kind of nerve racking. But I got through it, the spirit was strong, and it turned out great. 

I am often tempted to look at the world and think "what is this place? Why are people so ignorant, or blind, or lost, or fallen. Seriously? What's wrong people?" I get angry, and frustrated. But I have never thought to step outside myself and think "that person is a child of God, has been mis-guided and deceived, and probably has no hope for change" and then I thought about it this way "I am called to invite others to come unto Christ. I have the message of the Atonement. The Atonement can change everything."

To atone means to compensate or pay for something. Jesus Christ’s Atonement references His payment for the sins of mankind. It has the power to provide hope and alleviate the burden of sin for anyone. The following are eight things to remember about the beautiful gift of Christ’s atoning sacrifice.

#1 It’s Personal

If you want to change the world you must know that Jesus Christ knows and loves you as an individual. He knows the challenges you face. He sees your successes and failures. In Gethsemane He suffered for all sins, mistakes, and sorrows. We cannot bare any moving, lasting testimony of the Atonement, if we have never known or felt of such an experience.  

#2 It’s Infinite 

 He suffered for the sins of all mankind. The power and scope of the Atonement is not easily understood. It is infinite, beautiful, and pure. We are not asked to understand it, only to partake of its cleansing power  Psalm 117:2 "For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the Lord endureth for ever. Praise ye the Lord".

#3 It’s Available to All

Christ was not selective when He knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane. He suffered for every person ever born into mortality, from those who have lived and died to those presently living to those who are not yet born. Doctrine and Covenants 133:52 And now the year of my redeemed is come; and they shall mention the loving kindness of their Lord, and all that he has bestowed upon them according to his goodness, and according to his loving kindness, forever and ever.

#4 It’s Transformative

Unlike Christ, who was perfect, we trek through life and inevitably get spiritually dirty. Without the atoning sacrifice of the Savior, we would be doomed to shoulder our own spiritual burdens forever. The Atonement has the power to clean our souls and fill us with peace ( Isaiah 1:18) Doctrine and Covenants 101:9 Verily I say unto you, notwithstanding their sins, my bowels are filled with compassion towards them. I will not utterly cast them off; and in the day of wrath I will remember mercy.

#5 It’s the Most Important Event in History

To suffer from spiritual death is far more serious than physical death. Without the Atonement, mankind would be spiritually lost and would be unable to feel the love and comfort of God. Now, mankind can repent, become spiritually clean, and consistently feel God’s love. 

#6 It Helps with Loss

Christ also felt our losses, grief, and pain in Gethsemane When we lose a loved one, the Atonement offers comfort and peace in our times of grief. If we will come to Heavenly Father in prayer during our times of sorrow, He will help us feel peace while we work through the pain. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know how we feel. They won’t let us suffer alone if we seek Them (John 14:18).

#7 It’s Founded in Love

Christ was able to accomplish His atoning sacrifice because of the immense love He has for us. He understood the gift He was able to give mankind and was unwilling to withhold it from us. He knew where we would be without His mercy. When we repent of our sins and try harder to make good choices, we are loving Him back and expressing appreciation for His sacrifice.  

#8 It Is an Expression of God’s Love for His Children

Lastly, if we want to change the world we need to testify that The Father gave His Son because He loves us (John 3:16). The Father and the Son cherish us. Through Christ’s life and Atonement, They worked together to provide a way for us to be spiritually free and to fully feel Their love for us, which is the ultimate reward of the Atonement.

I Pdayed waaaay too hard

Hey Y'all

This week was amazing! I love my District. It has changed my perspective completely. I feel this Love for the Missionaries. That love alone drives me to be a better example. The thing that I've realized the most, is that it's not me that is showing the love, it's not my Nature to love people, in fact most missionaries from time to time tend to annoy me, it's something I have struggled with dearly. However, I feel the companionship of the Lord as I council with the district, I see them as Brothers and Sisters, I feel his love for them, sometimes I even seen them as the Lord sees them, i feel sad when they are discouraged and I automatically want to help them not be discouraged. I love them, the lord has helped me love them. And not just them It is transferring over to my investigators too. For the first time ever Friday night, we were working with an investigator that has been struggling for a while. We were talking about change, and that relying on the lord is key. I got an impression that the man was saying within himself "don't stop coming, please, I need your help, I'm trapped" I heard it within me. the look on his face was a look of want. I said to him aloud. "We will never stop coming, because we love you, the Lord loves you, and he wants you to join his church, he won't give up on you, and neither will we". The man began to cry, he knew that I knew what his heart was feeling, without the Holy Ghost I know that I wouldn't have had that impression. The Atonement is changing my heart as I continue to understand it, and internalize. 

We were able to put a family on date for baptism this week (August 1st) the lesson was sweet. There lives had been flipped upside down, they weren't sure where to turn for guidance. A member in our ward who was the families lawyer referred them to the church. They came a few Sunday's ago, and we set up an appointment for the following week. We arrived at their house, but to our surprise they weren't home. We tried the next day, same thing, no answer. We figured they were avoiding us so we just moved on. But to our amazement, they came to church the next Sunday! Apparently the two times we tried them was just bad luck on our part. They scheduled with us again! This time they were home! We taught them the restoration and invited them to be baptized, but they were afraid to commit. They had a hard time trusting not only themselves, but other people. We were able to reassure them that the Lord wouldn't want them to join the church if they didn't know it was true. They said they would pray about it. We visited them again, and at the end of the lesson we extended the invitation once more. We had a date set, but they were shaky about it. Still had a road block on committing. We visited them again, we taught them the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as we talked about Baptism and Faith, and The Holy Ghost testified of the Atonement, the cleansing power of Jesus Christ. They assurance of the Holy Ghost, and it's guidance and protection in our lives as we exercise faith. The spirit was sweet, it almost felt as if we were all sitting in the Celestial Room together (that's where you want to imagine the people you teach) we again, extended the Baptismal invitation, the Mother was concerned that some of her kids that refused to sit in on the lessons would be separate from them. I testified with all my heart about eternal families, that if they did get baptized, it wouldn't be very long before they were baptized. 3rd time is the charm, they accepted the date with faith, and they are solid, and committed. I love this family, I have never wanted so badly in my life to share the peace and comfort of the Lord with someone else in my entire life.

Another sweet thing that happened was when we were visiting with an investigator that has eaten missionaries alive. They have been investigating for a long time, the visits from the missionaries has changed their lives, they were heavy meth users and drug dealers, been in and out of prison, almost committed murder once, before they met the missionaries. Needless to say they have had a rough life. They are clean of all of that, haven't used or dealt for years. Their journey has been long, and hard but they are hung up on one last thing. The only reason they haven't gotten baptized is because they aren't married, and they are living with each other. Even their kids are members! The hang up is that if they get married they will lose their disability income. And they do make enough from their jobs to support their family. We have told them several times about jobs that are available, we set them up with the LDS employment services, they wouldn't take any thing. It's been frustrating. Well, we were at their house, and we pulled the family together for a Book of Mormon study. Something classic, amazing, and inspired happened. The little girl in the family says "I WANT TO PICK THE CHAPTER!" I go alright, cool she wants to read. Good deal. So I told her to pick the chapter. She picks Alma 39. Waiting for everyone to turn their I start some small talk. Not paying attention to what the chapter was even about at all. After everyone was ready I said "ill read the chapter head and the first verse and we'll go around the room" I began to read. "Sexual sin is an abomination" was the first sentence. I read aloud "Se-HEY WHO CHOSE THIS CHAPTER!" But something told me we were supposed to read it. We got to the part where it talks about denying the Holy Ghost. The boyfriend said "wait so, me not getting married and living with her is almost as bad as denying God?" I sat there in silence for a second, my initial thought was to sugar coat the phrase. But I didn't. I said yes. It is. He went white as a sheet, and turned to his girlfriend and said "we need to get married, this is not good". The spirit bore testimony of the truthfulness of this passage, and it helped me guide the discussion to where it needed to go. I have never seen someone be so taken back by truth in my entire life. I love that family, and I hope they can figure out their situation. 

I bare testimony that Jesus is the Christ. He is our captain, he called us, he goes before us, he chose us to follow him. His Atonement is real, it is enough, and heeding to him will change our natures. I love this gospel and the change its made in me, but also in the change it is making in others. This is his kingdom on earth, this I do testify. 

I love you all 

Sincerely.

Elder Greenburg 

Colossal Berry Crunch! Breakfast of Champions!

A "Flood" of Blessings

This week was sweet. 

We got a lot of work done, finally got some solid appoints and a few investigators on date. One in particular that is from Russia, very friendly, she fed us cheese cake. It was super sweet, she said she felt drawn to read the Book of Mormon. Never had a 1st lesson go so smoothly. Im excited to see these people progress. The Lord has defiantly given me a lot of tender mercies this week, it's helped me grow, and appreciate what the Lord has done for each of us. As a mission we are studying the Atonement, and how we can better use it in our missionary efforts. 

Studying the Atonement of Jesus Christ has been a pleasant experience. It's helped me learn so much about our Savior. 
His purpose was to cleanse others so they could come unto the father, by helping them  use his matchless Atonement through faith on his name, Repenting, being baptized, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and to endure to the end and experience immortality. Our purpose is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. We aren't just teaching them the knowledge of our church, we are teaching them the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we are teaching them HIS purpose, it is the underlying structure of our messages. With this concept they can know the means whereby man can be saved. The daunting realization I had this week was that when we choose not partake of that gift, we are choosing to deny Christ. Christ wants us to use his Atonement, because he has a purpose of cleansing and changing our souls to be worthy of the Father, and to partake of life eternal, when we choose not to let the Atonement change us, all of that grief, pain and heartache he went through for us would be a complete waste, it would be as if we were with the group that cast him out, and had him scourged and crucified. I have recognized that the Atonement has 2 important ways of healing. 1.)Redemption. 2.)Enabling power.  Redemption comes when we confess our sins, and ask for forgiveness. We feel the companionship of the Holy Ghost within us as a cleansing agent, we feel a peace, assurance, the future ahead, reborn, I've often said I felt like I was floating on air, the ability to become freed from the chains of the adversary or the unlocking of spiritual prison into spiritual agency within Christ. The Enabling power is his grace to help us put off the sins. In order for us to break free of our carnal state, to stay out of spiritual prison, and to overcome our weaknesses to indulge in sin is by relying on the merits and mercy of Jesus Christ or in other terms to "yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and putteth off the natural man". I realized I am far better off using the Atonement not only to be cleansed, but to be CHANGED. I think We often stop trying after the cleansing and redemption has been made, but we never use the FULL blessings of the Atonement to be changed. I think this happens with Recent Converts too, and we lose them after a few short months.  The sooner we can help our investigators know these 2 principals, the better they will be rooted in the Gospel, and feel the converting Power of Christ's infinite love for them, they have to feel our hope for them, and the only way we can help them change, is by understanding Christ's hope for them, his charity. We are aligning our purpose, with his purpose. That all might be changed, and cleansed from iniquity to rest with the Father in his kingdom.

We got a flash flood here in Sedalia, pretty bad. The sisters apartment got flooded waist high, so we went and helped them. We got covered in carpet, and we were sore for days from working so hard. I loved it. This week was super awesome, although I got super sick on Friday, so we couldn't proselyte on the 4th. Which sucks, everyone was outside! We Also found an amazing family this week! I love them! I have never felt the love of the lord so full in my life. Studying the Atonement has really helped me build my charity level. Im beginning to understand the love christ has for us. It rubbed off on me, and I pray it rubs off on those I teach. 


Love you all, have a great week! Umma go play basketball 

This is what happens when you leave your apartment unlocked....

 P Day!

#GanstaBaptist.

This week was pretty sweet. I went to the temple on Tuesday, we did 2
sessions (I hadn't been for 6 months) what a lovely experience that
was. The spirit there tastes so sweet. It's always a refresher, it
puts life into such a greater perspective. Here's what happened. While
I was sitting in the celestial room, I gave the thought. Why am I
here? What can I do better? A subtle reminder came over me "because
the Book of Mormon is true, Jesus is the Christ the son of God, and
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is gods kingdom
established once again on the earth. He has called you, to declare
that truth" I wonder if I could have a clearer answer than that. I
prayed and asked. "Well, what more would have me do?" In short, I
simply gave it all. The lord can't change our hearts without total
submission or permission to do so. I just told him how I felt, I told
him about the things I struggled letting go of (laziness,
rebelliousness etc.) but in my best reenactment of King Lamoni, I
simply said. I'll give away all that I posses, all of my sins to know
thee. Just help me turn outward, help me change to have compassion for
these people, help me have charity, and to see these people as
children of God. I felt like a kid in a candy store, I felt happiness
within me. But the very thought of those afflictions, and fear of
going back to laziness, almost overcame my faith. I opened the Book of
Mormon, just a random page, and random spot. It was Mosiah 24 "14 And
I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that
even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in
bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me
hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do
visit my people in their afflictions. 15 And now it came to pass that
the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made
light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their
burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to
all the will of the Lord. 16 And it came to pass that so great was
their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto
them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will
deliver you out of bondage."

Well, I thought the answer wasn't going to come clearer than that. So,
we eventually left for home (after much soaking in the peaceful
feelings of the temple). On the drive home not even 15 minutes after
we left the temple. President Vest calls me and says this: "Elder
Greenburg, the Lord wants you to serve as a DISTRICT LEADER in the
Warrensburg Stake. Will you accept this assignment?" I accepted it
obviously. The Lord answered me. Simply enough, this assignment is
going to help me turn outward. Not just to those investigators. But to
the missionaries too. The Lord answered my call to change my heart. I
felt and overwhelming uplift within me, and I know that the lord will
ease my burdens in this assignment, but also will teach me how to LOVE
people. Because honestly, Loving the people I serve has been a
challenge.
 For example,
Friday I was very fearful of going to work, I don't know what it was,
but I didn't want to go work, I let my fear overcome my faith and I
laid down on my bed in agony. As I laid there I thought about all the
people that had ever contended with me, all of the anxiety it caused.
But then sure enough I began to pray. And I asked my Heavenly Father
to help me understand, I asked for strength and guidance, and safety,
and courage to talk to everyone. I said "I don't even know why I feel
this way, help me understand how to love these people". I felt this
urgency to get up, get on my knees and plead for the lord to loosen my
tongue, I did so. Then I got up, grabbed my Mexi companion, and we
walked for 6 hours straight, talked to everyone, handed out a bag full
of Books of Mormon, and got 3 returning appointments. Words can't
explain the way I felt after that day.

To add on to that experience though, we found a Gangsta. We were
hitting the "Wrong side" of the train tracks that day. I don't think
anything could have stopped us. This guy comes out and yells at us to
come over. "Ay! yo! What ya'll sellin?! Bibles? Can I pay ya'll for my
sins?" We explained that we don't have to pay money for sins, talked a
bit about Christ's atonement, and told him about the Book of Mormon.
He took one, gave us his number, and scheduled a follow up
appointment. We returned to the appointment and upon arrival ran into
another house of gansta. I was amazed at how well they accepted a Book
of Mormon. And sincerely wanted to know more, so on our way to the
appointment with this guy, we set up 2 other appointments. We get to
his house and he started flipping out on us, saying that he read
online a bunch of stuff about the Book of Mormon, that it was the
Devils book, and that he threw it away, I asked him if he actually
read it, and prayed to know. He said "no, I don't need to, I know it's
the devil, he's all over in it, his friends started backing him up
with all this anti propaganda about Joseph Smith". My heart filled
with anger, I wanted to shred this guy in his ignorance. We argued
back and forth for a bit, but at the end of the day, all I felt was
anger, and hatred. Further showing me, that I had a weakness, that I
don't know how to love people, and that I anger and get annoyed
quickly. Knowing this I have been calling on the lord to teach me how.
It hasn't taken its effects, but I am learning. It might take a long
time, but the lord has shown the way, and I all I could ever do, is
rely on him. Because it's the only intelligent thing to do. I asked
the lord in prayer when I was in agony on my bed that day, and asked
to help me understand. He answered me, he helped me understand my
weakness. Lots of work to do.


I bare testimony that God knows us, he knows our hearts. The Holy
Ghost not only comforts us, but it is a means by where we can be
cleansed, and that this church is the true church.

Sent from my iPad

Spiritual Battles and Baby Showers.

Hello Everyone.

This week was pretty busy. We knocked doors all week and found 10 new
people to teach. This is the blessing for cleaning out our books.
Found a lot of really cool people, now I just have to learn to love
them. That Is a legitimate challenge I have. But, faith in the lord
will sure help me do that.

This week I came to know what it truly means to be at spiritual war.
It's interesting how hard the enemy of our souls works to beat us.
Coming to the knowledge of his game plan, because the truth is, he's
all around us, his angels constantly tempt us, they are screaming
impressions and suggestions, and thoughts at us. Acknowledging this is
only one step closer to defeating him. I don't think any soldier goes
to war without having a background of the enemies tactics. When you
know the tactic, you can know how to beat it. As a missionary, my job
is to guide people, and help them beat the enemy, as they come closer
to Christ, they will feel his strength defend them from the fiery
darts of the adversary, and open the door to light. The savior is
anxious to stand as a shield, if we diligently seek his help, and pray
with faith that he will protect us, he will step in, and he will guard
us.  Knowing this it gives me comfort.

I'm doing just fine, I'm learning to enjoy my mission. Sometimes I get
into robot mode, and I lose the joy in the journey. This is why I'm
trying to work on loving those I serve. Often times, I look at a task,
and do it because it needs to be done. But I forget that it needs to be
done, because that person is struggling, and that I love them, and
God. It's a hard concept for me to grasp. But I am determined to
practice it. One day i will learn;)

I found this odd baby shower invitation in the relief society room
during district meeting on Wednesday. What has relief society come
to?;) haha weirdos...

Apparently, in Jared's Ward, everyone in the RS is invited to the baby shower (look at my handsome guy!)

 Look At Jared being all tough!

A Letter to Myself

This week was alright, Maggy didn't get baptized. Her boy got put in prison so we postponed, one more succor punch from the adversary, anyway. I have been writing in my journal at night, and I took the challenge from Elder Clarke of the 70. And that was to gain a vision of what you cam become, and then write about it, take it a step further and share it with those back home. So I did. Sorry it's long. But this is what happens when Elder Greenburg actually says what's on his mind. Enjoy. :)

I would like to describe the vision I have of myself. A goal, or a stretch towards a mark, in hopes that I can move towards it. What I have to say will not be hard to do, but it will change my life, if I apply it. I promise.

If these characteristics are applied I will be happy, I will have peace of mind, and my knowledge, capacities and talents will expand. If I apply this, godly virtues will become a part of me, and the service that I render will change me. If I don't apply this, I may live a righteous life, I may do much good, and yet live in quiet frustration and discontent. The good that I do, and the service I render, will do me little good. The virtues of godliness will not be incorporated into my soul. 

I have a choice, I can decide what kind of missionary I will be. I can choose what person I want to become. My most important creation is, and ever will be me. What personality will i have; what strengths; what knowledge, what character; what emotional state; what presence; what qualities, what virtues? What will I look like? Or sound like? What will it be like to be around me? Who will I be? As I consider my choices, I recognize that I have 2 choices and they are light, or darkness. Do I want to be powerful or weak? Certain and confident, or afraid and insecure? Comfortable with myself or arrogant and abrasive? Do I want to be filled with light or darkness? Do I want to have peace or conflict within? Selfish or generous? Influential or inconsequential? Do I want to be free or be a slave? Happy or miserable? Do I want to be forgiving or hard and unforgiving? Do I want to be loving and kind, or mean and cruel? Honest or dishonest? Do I want to be a person of faith or doubt and fear? Trustworthy or unreliable? Hardworking or lazy? Do I want to be cheerful or despondent? The first of each of these choice is an attribute of light. They are incorporated into my character as I choose to follow Christ. I am constantly changing, i might say "that's just the way I am" but to believe weaknesses and deficiencies in my character are unchangeable is to reject the central truth of the plan of salvation. I not only can change, but I do change all of the time, I am a dynamic, evolving being. I am always changing. I never stay the same. I cannot stand still. 

I am right now the sum total of what I have ever thought, said, seen, heard, and done. What I think, say, do, hear, and see, cause me to change. To change for good or evil. To become either stronger or weaker, to either eternalize the qualities of light or darkness. I am responsible for who I am, and I am responsible for who I will become. Do I know what person I want to become? Do I see in my mind who I want to be? Do I know? 

What manner of men ought ye to be? Jesus asks a similar question. He said, what manner of men ought ye to be?" On this occasion he was speaking to his Nephite disciples and so he asks of me. What manner of men ought ye to be?" Then then answering his own question he said, "even as I am".  Jesus Christ not only came to Atone for my sins; he also came to show me the way. He is the way. I not only may become like him; everything is stacked in my favor to become like him.  I think of this life as a path on which I never stand still. As I move forward, I incorporate into my being the characteristics and qualities of God. As I move backward I assimilate the qualities of Satan. Every challenge I face, every hard thing I confront, every bad thing that happens to me, every unfairness, every conflict, every sadness, tragedy, every disappointment and heartache, every temptation and every opposition happens for one purpose only; to give me opportunity to respond by applying in my life the teachings of Jesus. As I do so, I am changed to become more like him. 

If I was never faced with some advantage to be dishonest, such as recognition, or money, or a better grade on a test or avoidance of punishment or embarrassment, I could never develop integrity. If no one ever offended me, I could never learn to forgive or internalize mercy. Were I never wearied by annoying behavior of another or repeated failures of someone else, I could never become patient. Were I never subject to appetites and passions of physical body for food, for water and for sexual fulfillment, I could not develop self mastery. Without opposition the plan would be frustrated, I could not progress and the purpose of life would be unachievable. When I choose to follow Christ I move forward and assimilate attributes of light; when I do not, I move backward and acquire attributes of darkness. 

Can I see, have I seen, who I want to be? What will happen if I don't plan? What will happen if I have no vision of who I want to become? There are two ways of evolving: deliberately and accidentally. I can either decide who I want to become and deliberately work toward that end, or I can just go with the flow and become whatever life makes of me. In that event I will become whatever the fickle circumstances and forces of life and society will make of me, whatever is currently considered to be popular, or in. Whatever is the easiest. But whatever I become accidentally will not nearly be the full measure of my potential. I will become just someone, somewhere in the middle. 

There are 4 kinds of missionaries. The one I'm trying to describe is the only way to become more like Jesus Christ. The way of this missionary is the only way to light, intelligence, strength, capacity, peace, contentment, grace, knowledge, power, happiness, mercy, joy, and every other good thing. 

I have 4 choices, I will describe them and then talk a little about them.

Missionary number 1.) I can be disobedient, choose not to keep the commandments of God, or much less the mission rules. I can do what I want to do. This attitude might bring on thinking that obedient missionaries are weak. I could see myself as a bit of a rebel, a free thinker, and I could feel a drive in the fact that I am not like the others. 

(Here are the consequences of this choice): I get sent home or return home at my own insistence. I wouldn't complete my mission. I would fail. I am either sent home because of disobedience, or I return home at my own insistence. The good I would have otherwise done, goes undone at least by me. The fruit of my service is not harvested, at least by me. Those who would ha e been changed by my service, go unchanged, at least by me. I would forgo the personal development that I otherwise would have experienced. Remember that I said I think of this life as a path on which I never stand still? As I move forward I incorporate the qualities of God. As I move backward  the qualities of satan. If I were chose to be this missionary I would be going backward. I would move the wrong direction. I would forgo the light, knowledge, strength, intelligence and virtues that I would otherwise have, and instead develop the qualities of darkness. I would forever be waiting for the "good life" but when I return home there will only be shame to greet me.  My faith will be impaired. Three things are taught by the prophet Joseph Smith concerning faith. "First the idea that God actually exists. Secondly, a correct idea of His character, perfectionist and attributes. Thirdly, am actual knowledge that the course of life he is pursuing is according to his will". Being this missionary, I cannot have faith because although I may correctly believe in God, I cannot believe in myself. I cannot know "that the course of life which I am pursuing is according to Gods will" because it isn't. As a result I cannot exercise faith. I could not have the faith sufficient to get an answer to my prayers because I did not know and could not know that the course I was pursuing was pleasing to God, because it isn't. I would be going in the wrong direction. So here is a question for you, Elder Greenburg. Do you not understand that if you are not doing what the Lord would have you do, you cannot believe In Yourself. You cannot believe that you are worthy to receive gods help and guidance in your life? You cannot have faith to pull down the blessings of heaven into your life. 

In conclusion to this missionary (your result will be this:) after you return home you will feel like you don't fit in. It will be hard for you to remain active in the church. Every sacrament meeting that involves a missionary farewell or report you will be reminded of and haunted by your failure. You will feel like you don't measure up, and you never will. You will typically become inactive, or will be relatively unproductive in your involvement in the church because of your lack of faith-because you will not believe in yourself. 

Missionary 2). I could be like the first option. Disobedient, do what I want to do, ect. But serve my entire mission. I would be ineffective, counterproductive. The good I would have done would go undone because I wouldn't be worthy of the spirit. Thus, the fruit of my service is not harvested.  I would experience regret. I would complete my mission, but faith. Oh sure, I wouldn't have to go through the public shame. Be I would be ashamed in my heart. I would look back on my two years with regret. It would be a bad bargain, sacrificing 2 years for an exchange of regret. I would not have faith, I would not know the course of life which I am pursuing is gods will, because it isn't. If I don't what the lord would have me do, I could not believe in myself. I could not believe that i am worthy to receive gods help. I could not have faith. Not because I don't believe in God, but rather, I do not believe in myself. I would be miserable, I would not benefit from my mission, I would drag down my companions and other missionaries. 

Missionary 3) I could be Obedient and faithful. I could be worthy. But I would withhold my heart. There are two ways to be obedient in the church, this is the fine line between what I want to be, and what i do not want to be.. The hard way is this: I could live the gospel, and serve in the church with the bite the bullet approach, I could just grin and bear it, or gut it out. I could be obedient and do what I am supposed to go, I could do my duty. I would get through it and then at long last i go about doing what I want to do, I serve with my might and strength, but withhold my heart and mind. I could do what the lord wants me to do, but then do what I want to do. In my head and in my heart I would be focused on what I want to do. I would measure my success by comparison and recognition. But in the end the other way I is much easier. Here's why, the consequences for this attitude are this: sure, I would be a successful missionary as measured by standard of the people. But the process of transformation would not be full, I would change my behavior, but not my nature. I would be frustrated deep in my heart because of the discontent feelings I have. I would labor all but by thinking of home, or how things used to be. Little would I know that things can't be, nor will ever be the way they used to be,. Life is always changing. I could look forward to P-days, or transfers, or being made a district leader or zone leader, or in particular when my mission will be over. I could think that I will be happy when I can get done what I am supposed to do, and finally do the things I want to do. I won't benefit personally from my mission. Here is the heart of what I am trying to say to you, Jared, here is what you must understand. 

The purpose and essential blessing of life is to be changed to become more like the savior, to realize your full potential. The process of change, this process of evolving, becoming, is the object of the gospel. Change is the design of faith in Christ, repentance, and baptism. Redemptive change is by the power of the Holy Ghost. But it happens only if and when your heart is right. It happens only if you do not fight against God. It happens only if you unconditionally surrender your will to the Lord. My nature can change, that is the truth. I may permit the lord to change my if I give myself to him, and his work. He cannot work on what he does not have, he cannot have me unless I give myself to him. I cannot be happy if I don't want to do the things that lead to happiness even if I do those very things. My world is in my head, if I get my head right my heart will follow and I will be right. It is up to me, I cannot be changed to become more like god if within my heart, I resist, resent and hold fist to what I would rather do. 

Now this is the whole reason I started this letter, because i need to have a vision of what I need to become. The characteristics are as follows: as I start to explain these characteristics be it know that this is something that is not beyond your reach, it is a quest to become this missionary. I will not be perfect, I will have weaknesses. I will struggle and may have times of sorrow, disappointment and discouragement. But here is the difference. I will surrender all, unconditionally. In addition to giving my time, talents and energy to the lord, I will give myself. All of my will. My hopes, dreams, desires, and wishes to the lord. In my heart and head I will let go of what I want to do. The lord does not want to frustrate the natural man, he wants to kill it. I will let him kill it. I will consecrate myself to the work.  I will forget my own concerns, and let go of my wants. I will not count the cost. I will measure my success by the peace that comes to my heart from time to time, when I can honestly say I am doing my best, I am faithful and serving with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I give my all. I will kick when I don't want to kick, not because it's my duty, because it's the only intelligent thing to do. My nature will change, I will acquire the attributes of godliness I need to, so I can be the husband father and person the lords needs me to be. I will not settle for half hearted work. I will love the lord, and his attributes will become apart of my character. Just give it up, surrender everything to him. Stop fighting him. Trust in his power, his matchless and infinite atonement. Trust that he will make of you Immeasurably more than you will ever make of yourself. You will create a smudge, he will create a mountain. My mission president said that I have the potential of being a true warrior of the gospel. Just like those in the Book of Mormon. That is the vision I have, it isn't that I am boasting of myself, but of my God, so that I can be the example, of what a man can become if he yields to the will of the lord. This i do testify. 

I have attached a picture of how remember Christ in my life, at the end of the day I place my tag on the picture of Christ, I compare my name to his, and I give a report of my day. Since I've started doing this, my love for him has grown. I actually think about the choices I make everyday. And I become one step closer to the ending result. 

P Day Nap!